Spoiled Shmoiled

Literally, if one more person says to my little Momma's Girl, "Oh aren't you so spoiled" because she won't go to them without that lower lip coming out, I am going to scream. That is a fact! My angel is not spoiled. She has only a few toys. Is she showered with love? You bet! Was I blessed enough to have been able to spend the last 4 weeks with her? You better believe it! Do Delaney and I deserve the love we have for one another? Yes. We are mother and daughter. Frankly, I would worry if she was not attached to me. I know that EVERY good parent LOVES their child. Every good parent, ADORES their child. But, after getting to know people, I mean REALLY know people that struggled to have children I realized before Laney even came along that those people, those "climbers" loved their children in a way I could not express. There was something different. Something more pure. I say that not to offend anyone that did not "struggle", you love your child too, but the connection was strong when there was a journey to be had.

I will tell you my biggest regret with my daughter was not getting to know her better before she was born. I tried for so long, that I did not want to get too attached should something go wrong. I met lots of beautiful ladies that finally saw those two glorious lines on a pregnancy test only to be crushed later! I have a great friend I met on my journey that just happened to. After 10 long years, she got crushed! I could not have taken it. So, I did distance myself a bit. My friends and family would jump up and down, "Aren't you so excited????" I can hear Elizabeth screaming it now! I would say, "Oh yes!" But deep down I was SCARED. I was afraid my Laney and I would not meet. I regret that. I regret that I did not spend more time getting to know her then. It's funny, the moment she was born reality hit. Tears ran down my face. My baby was on my stomach! MY GIRL! My angel from heaven.

We all would lie if we did not hope for certain things. Sure we all want a healthy baby, but I always wanted a baby girl. I love the bows and frilly things. I wanted to have tea parties with her, and play dress up. I even wanted to guide her through the "drama" years. I thought sure I was having a boy I wanted a girl so bad. But, I got my girl. And it's now looking back on the whole thing, I realize something. If I go to Lowes tonight and they don't have the size door I need in stock, they may have to special order it. I won't be able to take it home tonight, I will have to wait. I really wanted that door tonight...But I MUST wait! I realize that I had to wait a long time, because God knew what I wanted. Delaney Noel was a special order item and it took a while for her to be shipped into my arms.

I adore that little girl! I sometimes lay and watch her sleep. I look at her face. I look at her little fingers and toes, and I thank God for the miracle laying on her boppy. I am blessed! I know I am blessed, and I will always let Delaney know how blessed we both are to have one another. That BABY can feel that. She feels all the love I have in my heart. My mom said when she cries when I am gone, it's like her heart is broke. She is going to get better with other people, but for now, she feels the greatest love one person could have for another. A bond, not being "spoiled", but being loved. I did not know what love was until she graced me with her being. I know now that those people that throw the "spoiled" term around are confusing LOVE with something material. How sad that they do not know love in it's purest form!