Lemonade and Love

Looking back, there was a moment. It was a fast moment, one of those life or death, decision making moments that changes things forever. You see, when I first met Joe, I liked him enough. But, I wasn't sure I "liked him like that". I mean, he was a nice guy, but I wasn't into nice guys back then. But then there was a moment. A breath-taking moment that I was reminded of today. I passed a lemonade stand today and I had a flashback of a day much like today. We were in the car driving through a neighborhood on a hot, sunny day. It was 8 years ago, maybe to the day, who knows! There were these kids outside with a typical lemonade stand. Joe saw them and stopped the car, got out, and bought two lemonades. He told those girls to keep the change from a large bill, the value of which I can't recall, but the gesture touched my heart. I knew then and there that I was done with the jerks. And more than that, I loved this man. He had a kind heart. And for that, I loved him.

Tonight there was another moment like that. Tonight, Danielle, you asked me what it was like to be married, and I said that it was different and a lot about compromise. But, I left out the part where there are still moments that take your breath away and make your heart melt into a big glob of mush.

This evening, Joe gave Laney a bottle before bed. She was a crabby bear most of the evening. She was TIRED. But Joe has a ton of patience with her, and he made her a bottle, took it into her room, and sat next to her crib and gave her the bottle. When she finished, he brought the bottle into the kitchen where I was cleaning the days worth of bottles. I looked at him and could see his face was damp. I asked him why he was crying. He denied having cried, so knowing he was lying, I asked again, why he was crying. He said these beautiful words, "Because when I finished giving her the ba, she turned toward me, smiled, and said "Goo" like she was doing it just for me, just because I was there." And again, my heart melted.

Yes, that man can get on my nerves and sometimes I don't know what keeps me from going off the deep end when he leaves his messes everywhere. Yes, he drives me bonkers on the weekends with his incessant "relaxation". But then, he makes up for it when he allows me to fall in love with him all over again.

What I Would Die For

This has been an emotional week for me. I mean, who wouldn't be emotional about turning the big 3-0! But, more than that, my life has completely turned around this past year. One year ago this past week, I was in a state of shock. I could not come to terms with the fact that my dream was coming true. During the time of "my climb" I listened to all kinds of music to ease my mind, or say just what I couldn't. A few of the songs were Please Forgive Me (David Gray), Blackbird (Beatles, but I liked the Sarah Mclachlan version better), Still Haven't Found What I'm Lookin' For (U2), No Air (Jordin Sparks), Someday (Celtic Woman) and my all time, I can't stand this crap anymore song was, I Would Die For That (Kellie Coffey). I just youtubed the Kellie Coffey song, it said EVERYTHING I wanted to say and scream! I love that song. I really would have died for the chance to have what I have now. I would have laid my life down just for a moment of the joys I get to experience now. It is amazing!

I want my daughter to know so much, mostly I want her to know how much I loved her before I even knew her. She is my everything now.

So much has changed with her this past week too! We've taken a big leap into the land of big people foods! She now has cereal everyday and has been trying out carrots! I can't believe how fast babies grow. Often, I just want to stop the clock. Just freeze time. I have noticed her feet this week, how much they have grown. She is getting so big!

So, I would like to take this moment and say, thank you God, for giving me the ONE thing I would die for!

One Year Ago...

One year ago, my dream finally came true. Exactly one year ago, to the moment, I was a sad person. Another birthday was approaching and I was supposed to be a mom several times over by now. One year ago my arms were empty. One year ago, I was with my mom and we drove to my house to see what Joe was planting in front of our house. We got there to see all the rose bushes in front of my house. My mom told me "There are your roses, Betsy." You have to know me well to know that I said a novena to St. Theresa for years begging for a child. When you get a rose, your prayer is answered. I thought, "Yeah, right mom." Later on one year ago, I was standing at my sink and my eyes were drawn to a sign that Carrie bought for me. It reads "Miracles: The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen." "Yeah, right." I told myself again. But my eyes went back to that sign. And I thought.

For fun, I took a test, and saw the most glorious lines. I told Joe, called my mom, and called Carrie. I proceeded to take several more tests and remained in a state of shock and wonder that are hard to explain!

Today is a sweet day for me. To think back. This was the most amazing day of my life, one year ago! As I type this, I watch my mom feed Laney. My angel and the rock that listened to me cry for years as I climbed for my angel! My mom was a rock for me! She listened and never believed that I would be without my Laney. My mom always had faith, even when I lost it! I am one THANKFUL person as I look back over the past year. How blessed I have been!

Just one year ago today!