Where did it go?

Two years has passed since I welcomed my little baby girl with open arms. I looked at the clock when I began typing this and realized that I had just about begun to push around this very time 2 years ago! I was so nervous!

A lot has changed in those 2 years. Laney no longer lays on my belly to go to sleep. She no longer drinks out of a bottle, she doesn't even need my help to eat. She is so independent and so loving. She is so sweet and shy. She's the quiet observer. She can get noisy, and let you know she is there, but it is on her time! She loves gifts, and she doesn't even have to be the recipient to love them! She is truly an angel and I love every minute with her. She brings so much joy to people. Wherever we go, people stop us and tell us how good she is, sweet she is, or cute she is. When people stop us, I realize how much joy she brings. I wonder how much more good she will do in the world. What will this little sweet, shy girl turn out to be? I hope she always stays as sweet as ever and has a heart of gold!

Thank you to each of you that prayed with me for Delaney! I am truly blessed and thank God for my gift each day!

Happy Holidays from the Nunn's

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Christmas Cards? Already?

Can you believe it's that time again? To start thinking about Christmas cards? Last year, I lucked out and my cousin took some great pictures of us at Lindenwood and we had them to put on our cards. Poor Danielle, it wasn't the best photo shoot. Some of us were awfully crabby about having our pictures taken, but they did turn out awesome! This year, I have some cute pictures of Laney and I love sharing them! She is after all, the biggest blessing of my life. I was looking at Shutterfly's photo cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards and I really like the Vivid Hope card. http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards/vivid-hope-christmas-5x7-photo-card-5x7-photo?sortType=1&storeNode=93480. I also like the Simple Joy Card http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/simply-joy-christmas-5x7-photo-card-5x7-photo?sortType=1&storeNode=93480. I have 3 photos that I want to use and I can't decide, so I am looking for a card where I can easily slide them in. I am also looking at turning some of her beautiful pictures into canvas wall art http://www.shutterfly.com/home-decor/canvas-wall-art. I also love making photo calendars http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars. The hardest part of any of these is deciding which pictures to use. There are so many great memories, and my favorites, may not be the favorites of others. But since becoming a mom, I have come to love giving photos as gifts. It makes me feel as if I am sharing just a little bit of my Delaney with others when I can give a photo!

Bee-ing Helpless

Today Laney and I ran some errands. She fell asleep on the way home. When I carefully removed her from the car, I heard a buzzing. I simply thought it was a fly and carried her inside. When I laid her down, I heard the buzzing again and realized it was in her shirt. I shook her shirt so it would exit and when I saw it come out, I realized it was a huge bumblebee. I screamed and woke her up, and then it landed on her arm. I ran around like an idiot (I know several of you are shocked:)) and screamed as I watched my baby get stung. I have never felt so helpless in my life. I have never wanted to put myself in her shoes more in my life! I have never felt so awful! It was the most horrible thing! I know it seems so little. A bee stung her, big deal. It was a big deal though. They say that being a mother is having your heart walk outside of your body. So, my heart has been walking outside of my body for quite some time. But today, my heart was hurt outside my body, and I witnessed it. I realized there will be times when I cannot protect her. No matter what I do, she may be hurt. She WILL be hurt by others, or by things that I cannot control. And it will hurt. It will hurt me to watch those little bees of life sting her. God watch my little baby when the bees come in to sting her!

Little Green Pillow

Okay, okay, I know it's been a while. I am guilty of not blogging:) I will try to be better. I am just so moved with joy as I watch my child grow, that I have a hard time keeping focus on writing, though I know I should get at it. So, here goes...

Today I was moved to tears. It began when I put Laney down for her nap, and since she is in a full size, big girl bed I thought I would lay by her. Mommy needed a break too. So, I grabbed my comfy pillows and I laid down next to her. I have 2 main pillows I have to sleep with. One is just a soft regular pillow, and the other is a decorative pillow I have had for years. I have called this pillow "my little green pillow" for ages. If it's missing, I ask Joe to help me find "my little green pillow" and he knows just what I mean.

Ever since I can recall, Laney prefers this same pillow. She will yank it right out from under me and lay on it. Of course I give in, because I will do whatever I can to make her happy! And as we all know, it's easy enough to steal it back after she falls asleep. But, today I let her have the pillow, and I watched her cuddle up with it. Then it hit me...My mom has been asking for months if Laney has a "lovey" or something she likes to have to make her feel safe. I keep saying no, but I do believe that "my little green pillow" is her lovey. I watched her snuggle with it and the flashbacks started. I laid on that pillow and dreamed of one day being a mom. I hid my face in that pillow when I couldn't stop the tears as I longed for my little Laney. I held on to that pillow so tight when I didn't have any hope that I would ever meet my Laney. That pillow was what saw me in my darkest hours as I hoped, longed, wished, and dreamed of my little Laney. That pillow caught all my tears. All that sadness existed within pillow. All that hurt, all the hard times were laid out on that pillow night after night, and so many afternoons when it was just too hard to get out of bed.

Now, my angel rests her head on that pillow. All her hopes and dreams lie on that pillow night after night. Maybe, just maybe it even helps her see just how loved she is, just how loved she was, long before she was even here with us. Maybe it will help her know just how much love I have for her in my heart. I wanted her for so long and that pillow comforted my weary head as I battled down the road.

I also want to thank all my other "my little green pillow"s. All the people that were in my life and comforted my head when I needed them. All the people that watch my daughter grow and know just how loved she is, and help me celebrate that with her! All the people that I know my Laney can count on to comfort her head when she is tired, when her heart is broken. I love you all from the very bottom of my heart! I thank God for you each day! All my little green pillows!

One Year Ago

Exactly one year ago I was in a terribly uncomfortable hospital bed contemplating on the full dose or half dose of ambien. I opted for the half dose, and should have gone all the way. I barely slept a wink. I mean, after all, who can sleep when they know the VERY next day they are going to get to see their very own dream come true! I mean, we all know I dreamed of this day for my entire life. My whole body was rushing with excitement!

I ended up waiting a long time for "my moment". You know, that is the moment when you meet the love of your life. You know it's gonna happen, you know it's gonna be great, but no one tells you the pureness of that moment. I think in all my life, there was no single greater moment, than the moment my angel graced me! It's so strange how it hit me all at once that, yes I was pregnant, but no I am not anymore, and I created this tiny miracle that I held in my arms! That was my most blessed moment. That was "my moment".

It makes me sad to think how fast this year went. I would not trade a single moment of this year. Some people don't understand why I want to be with my daughter so much. She is my single greatest joy. I adore her. I get more joy from watching her grow than anything else. Everything I do is for her. I have been blessed with so many good people in my life. People that are supportive and have helped me be the mother I am. So many great friends that I have taken advice from. They are all great moms. Some are not even moms. Some, have just held my hand through everything and just listened. Where would I be without them?

My wish for my daughter is simple. I want her to laugh. I want her to smile and be happy. I want her to love beyond measure, because she is loved more than I can ever explain. I want her to sing and dance in the rain. I want her feet to take her to places I have never been, and her eyes to see things I have never seen. May her little hands do works of good for others and my her heart always stay close to God. She restored my faith after all. That itty bitty baby. That tiny creature, that beautiful baby I created. She's all the proof I need that dreams do come true, angels do exist, and miracles happen, everyday. Thanks Carrie for reminding me of that!


Happy 1st Birthday Delaney Noel!

The Gift

I have been a terrible blogger lately. My apologies. I found a wonderful job, thanks to Brooke that keeps me terribly busy, and I have been devoting the other hours of my life to my little miracle. She still is my micacle, always will be. I ADORE spending time with her! I love all the sugar, spice and everything nice! I never knew what happy tears were until I met her. I cry them all the time now! These little moments amaze me more than I can put into words. I realized the other day that her hands have grown. I look at her hands and I just wonder what they will do. Where will her tiny feet take her. Whose heart will she touch? I am blessed. I will never take a moment of that blessing for granted! Her life is a miracle beyond measure! She saved her mommy! Oh how many tears I cried before her, the saddest tears. Now, only happy tears come. She has brought joy to our family more than I can tell you. Some of the greatest moments I have with her are the ones in which I watch my husband and my parents interact with her. The love that is there, AMAZING. I see God in her! I see all things wonderful.

Laney has a new friend. Her name is Estella and Estella has such a great personality. She is always all smiles and happy. Laney is a happy girl, but it's funny when I see them together, the differences in their little personalities. They are 6 weeks apart almost to the day. Laney has a "Fab 4", the 4 people she most takes to. She is untrusting and cautious, it takes her a long time to warm up (who does that sound like?). That is okay, that is who she is, nothin' wrong with a little caution, especially in the world today. Estella lets anyone hold her, and she giggles. Laney waits for everyone to get distracted, then it's like she whispers to Ella that they can play then. As soon as we all start to pay close attention again, it's over. I am glad that Estella and her mom, Laura, came into our lives. We are blessed to know them. Very sweet people! Again, I have Brooke to thank for that!

It's been through this process of struggling to get my miracle, and having her that I realized how wonderful people can be. I have met some of the best people! I am blessed!

They have been playing Christmas music already on the radio. It may seem early to you, but I am using it as an opportunity to teach Delaney all the songs that her Great Grandma loved so much! This is such a magical time of year that we are coming up on. It's all the more magical for us here at the Nunn Household. We have a gift already, and she comes wrapped in a gorgeous bow! I have always been known for my bows on my Christmas gifts. Delaney is no different. She is the greatest gift I could ever ask for!

So, tonight I write and I dedicate my blog to all my friends, and even people I don't know, that struggle to get their miracle (although that struggle makes it THAT MUCH BETTER Christie)! You will get it! I promise you will see a miracle in your time. Though I hated the wait, it nearly did me in, that wait is why I realize my blessings now! Thank you God! Thank you for my gift! And thank you to family and friends that stood alongside and now watch this miracle unfold! Joe and I are blessed! The song The Gift by Jim Brickman is my perfect song right now!